Okay, not doing this
by AngelTransformsIntoSoul
Summary: Darren's crossed the line with this one.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Same disclaimer as chap. 1. Ja Ne!

(Darren's POV)

I yawned and walked out of my bedroom and into the bathroom, and showered. I was fine, I convinced myself. I was cool with this. Debbie was just a girl, not _The Girl_, so I could afford to be left.

I stepped out of the shower, dried off, and headed back to my room. I looked at the room. Debbie had had pictures and little stuffed animals, along with clothes and things strewn about my room. The pink armoire was gone, as were the frilly pink lace pillows and comforter. My room had gone back to the way it was before she moved in. I didn't have a bed- the bed had been just for her comfort, and I had put up my old hammock in my room. The walls were the same dark blue, though the ceiling was now dark blue instead of her 'tickle me pink' paint.

I had a mahogany armoire with a small lamp sitting on it. I had a desk of the same wood at the other side of the room and a swivel chair.

I dressed and grew saddened as I realized that half of me was gone.

(Larten's POV)

I felt no need to do anything today. It was Saturday, otherwise known as 'Larten's mess-around day.' Usually it was just Debbie and one of her friends at Darren's place and Darren and I lounging around, watching stupid horror movies, ordering either Chinese food or pizza and just having a guy's night out while Debbie and some other girl got their nails done.

I stretched but did not move from my bed. It was comfy and I was comfy. As I lounged on the red silk sheets, I slowly fell asleep. My body was awake and my mind was awake, but I was just feeling lazy right now. Just as I was almost into the sweet bliss of dreamland, my bloody cell rang.

"Bloody hell." I grumbled and picked it up. "This better be damned important." I snarled at whoever was at the other end. Darren laughed.

"I was just going to ask if you wanted to rent, oh, say, possibly, _Attack of The Leach Creatures From Mars_ again."

"Love that movie. Yeah, sure. Takeout or pizza?"

"Get me the General George Chicken."

"All right. Say about 5?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll get the movies if you get the food."

"Deal."

We hung up at the very same time and I wondered at how we could know each other that well. Suddenly I got a bad vibe. He was going to pull something, I knew that. He hated that movie but knew I loved it. Oh, yeah, this would be bad. But I would be ready.

-5:30 pm-

(Darren's POV)

I saw him watching the stupid horror movie, laughing at the stupidity of the people. I watched him, focusing all of my attention on him. And then I saw it- a dull moment, where he would be too curious to care what I said.

"Hey, Larten, I've got an idea to get Debbie back."

"Uh-huh."

"You want to hear it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, here it goes. Will you pretend to be my girlfriend for a month?"

He blinked at that. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"What I heard can not truly be what you said."

"It was."

"So you want me to be your pretend girl for a month? Is that right?" His face, once full of shock and slight anger turned to pure amusement. He paused the tape. Oh, shit.

I shrugged and took another bite of my chicken. "I miss her."

He sighed softly and leaned back into the couch, stretching. "I know what you mean."

"Will you help?"

"Only if I don't get too embarrassed."

"Thanks."


	2. Chapter 2

Do not own Darren Shan Saga or Cirque Du Freak. Will keep wishing on star, though.

"No."

"Larten, you promised."

He took another look at the item in Darren's hands. "No. Not a dress."

Darren pouted, while still holding the red full-length long-sleeved dress.

"I said as long as I didn't get too embarrassed. Wearing a dress is too embarrassed."

"At least I'm not asking for the heels."

His face paled. "You ask me to wear a dress, ask me to wear heels… What's next? A freakin' hair stylist?!"

"Ummm."

"Darren?"

"Yeah?"

"You hired a hair stylist didn't you?"

"Possibly."

And at that, Larten flipped.

An hour later, his apartment was trashed where he had thrown random items at Darren, and he was tied to a chair, in a red dress, with red flat sandals, make-up that made him look like a woman, and a very nice hairstyle.

Oh, and Darren was unconscious on the floor when he saw him.

An hour after that, and they were at a fancy restaurant- one that had a certain Debbie Hemlock in it with Steve. It was also a coincidence that they had gotten a table right next to them- a booth none the less. And they were outrageously flirting, Larten acting as much the part of a girl as he could take- witch was basically a masculine, beautiful, wily looking woman- and he hated every minute of it.


End file.
